Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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