i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
