Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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