Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize