he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
