$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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