Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
