I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize