I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
