Cold hands, warm shart.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
