hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Your cock deserves a montage
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
