There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think my vagina is haunted
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
