you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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