She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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