I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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