She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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