I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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