In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
