I feel like abortions should bother me more
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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