your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize