Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
