dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
