how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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