You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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