Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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