this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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