I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Everything about him screamed your future.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
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