Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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