I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize