My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
