why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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