When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
