I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize