I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
