spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
