How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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