Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
my poor anus
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize