they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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