I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
