I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
