it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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