You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
