You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
