I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Everclear isn't food dammit
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
