I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
