Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
