Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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