He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
