Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome