You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...