I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring