Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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