My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Come share oat with me in your robe
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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