You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
