Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My vagina is very pro this idea
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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