I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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