I wannas sexs uuuuu
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
not ubering you a puppy
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
