How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm at about main and main street
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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