dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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