I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
