Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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