your thong is hanging out like whoa
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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